Saturday, March 29, 2008

Who Does Genital Tattoos

hospital Solidarity

it is very English in spend hours in a hospital dead. More than one will sound familiar with the picture of the insider entered for a few days and the entire cast of family, friends, neighbors and giving pegao relay to not leave the patient alone for a minute, spending a sleepless night uncomfortable seat, "lest you need something." For nothing more often than not, because that are the nurses and other health staff. Say that the use of both time and human effort but the company is unproductive comfort, relationships are narrow and "today for you, tomorrow for me."

This contrasts with the experience of Anglo sick. I tell the case of a British family friend that struck me particularly and clearly illustrates the differences between one society and another, with the confidence that gives a glimpse of a family between twenty million.

Chris is a valued former colleague, English, father of a lovely family and son and daughter of two families very "normal" and typical in the country. His wife gave birth to her second child and the birth went horribly wrong. She ended up in intensive care unit and the baby was taken to a children's hospital two hours away.

will understand that the man spent the worst days of his life. He accompanied his wife on his recovery while his newborn daughter spent several days without a single visit at the other hospital. I attended amazed at his story, once things became a bad shot, and I could not help asking again and again: "And the parents and in-laws (all retired)? And the brothers? And friends of all time? And the neighbors? Where was everybody? ".

Friday, March 28, 2008

Pea Sized Nodule In Throat

I have not been

No, that photo is not me. One is vain, but not quite.

could feel an increase in traffic in the log and just realize that more than a clueless surfer is landing on this page looking for what is not there. Now I'm terrified. Every time the phone rings I think the BBC.


I read the news a couple of times but I'm still confused about the couple who changed sex, who stopped taking the shots and who wears the pants at home.

Anyway, hopefully the next time you see around here and I will rid and changing diapers for the baby. In English, of cors .

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Lady In Red Dress Dancing Under Umbrella Painting

Chronicle Premiership - days 29, 30 and nutters

"That Latin character loses us ..." That

Rodolfo told me my dear, from Glasgow, via text message. I was watching it on TV like me: Javier Mascherano had to be expelled (min. 43) of Manchester United - Liverpool (the Barca R.Madrid-English).

Right. The bad thing about Latin character appeared when least deserved the chance: the cocky attitude (Mascherano), the trembling of legs (Torres, Arbeloa, Fabio Aurelio) or hands (what a day, Queen) and defeatism of the head (Benitez, Benitez , Benitez).

Two days later and Mascherano does not know why he drove , which is worrying because the Argentines are not fools and this hair is or what he is doing. And fuck me to agree with yellowish tabloid The Sun, but its Article is a true reflection of what and many think we all saw.

Finally, the Manchester United wins the title he is leaving Arsenal to escape, while Chelsea is going to stay with the desire for the second consecutive year. Liverpool's best not to keep talking

sky, earning
- Zarate, Argentina in Birmingham, opened his account against Reading but ended on the losing side.


Purgatory Road - Jose Enrique (Newcastle) and Garrido (Manchester City), earning the starting job
- Wilson Palacios, expelled, in the defeat of his team (Blackburn 3 - Wigan 1)

Miran hell
- Ivan Campo, another diva more in the crowded universe of arrogant players, who left cursing the coach when he was substituted.
- The whole Liverpool, led by its Argentine terrier.


From the classification, better not talk. This chronicle of three days in a given sample of my loyalty and distaste for the Navy.

- Position of the Navy in the league of the company (50 teams): 45 sessions (three days before: 41 º)
- Position of the Navy in the league's Daily Telegraph (300,000 computers): 195,000.

Manchester United 3 - Liverpool 0

Friday, March 21, 2008

Actresses With Smelly Feet

31

how I had recently ran the trial of the century and failed to mention the trial of the year just settled this week. Paul McCartney vs Heather Mills announced a divorce history. Newspapers are fuming that an entire nation and cry out against the bad guy. The bad news here. I feel like being contrary to 61 million Britons but my sympathies fall on the most defenseless. Women and children first.

do not have to submit to (Sir) Paul McCartney. Once he was caught with his buddies musicians across a zebra crossing in London and from there to the Olympian gods. Carita de angel day unbearable at night. His wife, bitter vegetarian, died of cancer and poor Paul suffered his widow in the loneliness of fame. The Rich Also Cry.

One day came a beautiful princess in your life. Outspoken activist for charitable organizations, ex-model who spends at least one leg due to a car accident. Gossips say that in his youth had served as escorts. There is no reason to be ashamed, everyone is dead in the closet though his seems to be that fit many.

The lovebirds were married, they lived happily, were happy and spawned a stem. However, the wind changed direction, the relationship turned sour, the Paul changed the locks on her house, the press began to take the dirty clothes, were challenged by the most expensive lawyers and were unable to reach an amicable divorce. Meanwhile, an entire country and its immigrants following the bickering of the case as if it were a Venezuelan telenovela.

The issue comes to court. The Heather said that Paul has a fortune of 800 million pounds (1,200 million euros) and that she wants 120 million p 'out p'lante . I do not know where to buy bread this woman. Also dismissed his lawyers that are costing you an arm and a leg (the leg happened before) and decides to represent himself. The woman walking with a prosthesis of plastic, but can not be denied that no two balls.

Finally, the judge has just given statement, said that Pablito Beatles "only" worth 400 million pounds and the prey of his ex-wife "only" found 24, above one million, million below. Moreover, the judge defined "ridiculous", "inconsistent" and "unreasonable" euphemisms that are translated from English to Castilian popular with "crazy liar." I do not deny that this is not justice in capital letters.

But that's not all. The trial comes jubilant Mills, surround hundred journalists and, instead of drawing a slip of paper from his pocket and read a statement safe as everyone does in these cases, snakes begin to leave that to tocapianos waxing mouth your ex and every living creature. At this time

sure you are calling Sarah Ferguson and Paul Burrell, among others, to enter the U.S. Circuit Conference.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Ontario License Plates 2010

Knowledge does not take place

politely declined the invitation. About thirty souls department had organized a "quiz night " in a nearby pub where the supreme leader, grateful for our selfless dedication, he left the paid account. Bribe, call it elsewhere.

Not that I disliked the plan but it was not a question of getting a distress call from my mate in the midst of the revelry to stop cheering for the mother in the hospital with one drink at a time so prescribed. Common sense would say about. Wimp, who whisper and others.

A quiz is a quiz on general knowledge questions. The concurrence of the pub is divided into groups paid one or two pounds per head, someone reads the questions microphone in hand and each team will complete their Post with replies. When they finish the questions, exchange leaves the pub read the answers and equipment are fixed to each other. Of course, no cheating. Fair play . What a great civiilización. The awards are usually a small amount in cash, a box of wine or similar.

wonder the game shows like "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ( Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ) or" The Weakest Link "(The Weakest Link ) are very popular in the UK. The quizzes are a quintessential British pastime, and people read it boasts and illustrated it. I said that the Trivial Pursuit, the board game version, is the product intermediate between the pub and what we see on TV.

The questions are like: "Who was the first black mayor of London?" "What was the name of the first Russian submarine killed in World War II?" Or "How many hamburgers can be made with a horse?". Discussions between question and asked quietly run and there is some animosity between the teams. I attest that people take very seriously these contests, more than once a Spaniard confused, tired of his own ignorance, has tried to boycott the contest with funny comments aloud to the angry eyes of those present and veiled threats physical integrity.

I have participated in some of these " quiz nights" because it happened that I was in the pub at the time of its conclusion, rather than explicitly seek their assistance. I remember with pride my introduction to the Olympic competition.

was reading the newspaper at a pub in Edinburgh, after a sleepy day at work, when he approached the pub landlord and asked if quieria join a group to participate in the quiz that night. Why not, I thought. Half an hour later I was regretting this hasty decision.

's strong Scottish accent and I did not understand little knowledge of history and local news were undermining my intellectual interest in the little game. So, as trasncurría the contest, I left the pints of beer and draw that smile so common in those who try to hide that they are not finding out what's going half the mass and look like they are put there by the municipality, as the streetlights.

finally ended question time, and after the counting of the answers, my team had won the first place tied with another team. Would have one more question to settle the tie. What a thrill.

The question echoed through the pub was altavaces: "What English singer was internationally successful football club goalkeeper of Real Madrid?" After initial confusion, my computer eyes rested on me, while my own, drunk, was set at the lights of a slot machine so boring it was that boring.

won the contest and, consequently, the first prize: a box of thirty-six bottles of beer. I remember that I got half a dozen of these in the pockets of his coat and they headed toward me home, lest it be not accurate with road. It looked like a Swiss cow. For the clink of glasses, that is.

Friday, March 14, 2008

How Longdoes It Take Pinguecula To Go Away

Pina colada without alcohol

The good thing attend not one but two courses on "how to be useful before and during childbirth without getting bored in the attempt" is that I learned permoneros the case from two angles: the posh preparations and preparations for the masses. I say posh

preparations because when you pay for twelve hours of flight instruction pregnant, what you get in return are muffins, juice and coffee, a good professional couples Rollet as a company and a midwife-teacher blonde and extolling the virtues comprehensive delivery "active" and the involvement of the male during the entire process.

By contrast, the three free hours of instruction taught in the system British public health borne by the direct descendant plump black maid in the movie "Gone with the Wind was " before the distracted gaze of several workers, a couple of namesakes Iberian and some unemployed migrants, as well their wives, partners and colleagues. The meeting began with a realistic "For what we are going to cheat, eventually it will hurt you" tap water together with useful advice, for example, where free parking in the parking lot of the hospital or what is the coffee shop nearby.

The muffins were good but I hardly remember what it is active labor. However, still recall with vivid detail the recommendations of the Central, including how good is the pineapple for a good delivery and anecdote about the woman who had called the hospital asking if I could peel it because he suspected otherwise, would do harm.

I can not believe what was going to do with the pineapple.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Christian Sports Quotes

The twists and turns life

A buddy made a lightning visit to Reading last week. Came to do a job interview for a position in a prestigious multinational scale.

it happens, it was at Reading where he began his international career six years to improve their English and output of a university degree was a passport to frustration and poor working conditions in Spain. Like so many others. With effort and dedication was progressing professionally and ended up leaving the land to migrate to other embracing the opportunities presented themselves to him.

We were walking around the city, chatting about old times, when we went through an office block and my friend recalled with a laugh that the spot had begun his English adventure, responsible for cleaning the first floor. He also said that as he passed the desk duster by flipping through the papers he had over to learn how to write business correspondence in English.

This friend called me to speak this afternoon to tell you that you have been offered the job that was presented. Olé your eggs, Juanma.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Mo Bow Hunting Safety Education Course

know who says ... Feeding the cat

One of the most memorable moments at a party, dinner or the English celebration of the day when the Spaniard - emboldened by the four pints (two liters) of beer that have made him swallow in an hour, the fifth above it the table and the sixth being asked at the bar of the pub - he decides to launch the social arena, free of linguistic ties and dicer around: "I'll tell a joke." Here begins the tragicomedy.

English humor is diametrically opposed to English. His jokes are short, sharp, somewhat semi-skimmed and devoid of loud noise. They call them one-liners (one line) A bad example would be this: "What is a sheep without legs? Answer: a cloud. Or this: "Be good to your children because they will choose your nursing home." While our hero attends English exchange on-liners "thinking: Well crap jokes.

samples are also popular English expressions humor short, spontaneous, poignant, these poker-faced, that irony or sarcasm to describe what happens at a given time. Humor intelligent people (or cowardly by the generosity with which see.) An example of this is what Margaret Thatcher, raising his hand absentmindedly, said one of his political rivals who passed by her side during a gala dinner: "Waiter, a whiskey on the rocks, please." Thus, publicly denigrated his opponent and laughed at the poor choice of dress.

So you can imagine the scene when my countryman anonymous leaps up, manages the care of his drunken cronies English in the pub and starts the joke "English" "saying


" Once upon a time a married couple was deciding what to do with food. Decide eating snails and then the man goes to the market to buy them. "

The audience attends to the story perplexed, unsure if what you are hearing is a personal experience or something that has appeared on the crime pages of newspapers. The joke is interrupted every few minutes because some have not understood the English pronunciation of "snail" or "market." Five minutes later and resolved any misunderstanding.

"The man meets a friend on the road and stop at a bar for a beer, then another, then another ...

" Ten hours later the man returns to his home a cogorza of aupa. Inside, women are moving up the walls, vowing to kill her husband as displayed by the door. "

All this has grand gestures and translation impossible. At that point, some Englishmen be laughing - not the joke itself, but what is the cuentachistes comic - as many will be watching the football game on television in the pub and a few even attend the show free gaping .

"The man released the snails into the front door and rings the bell. When the woman opens the door to her husband is urging the snails: Now, now, it's almost we have come. "

The joke is over and not hear a laugh. It is then that the depressant effects of alcohol begin to take effect on our protagonist, who goes to the bar to ask the seventh while swearing to himself entern hate the queen (theirs, of course).

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Easy Werewolf Spells Eysist



I come from the workshop breastfeeding. In English, something like "breastfeeding workshop." I have read it correctly. I begin to think that the UK is the NBA of pregnancy. I do not understand how it was possible to reproduce the human race without going through the pre-natal courses. It

we have the great good fortune that a global eminence in this of breastfeeding practice in Reading. So, it's like a soccer Ronaldinho but if not the intricacies surrounding the nipple sucking by three kilos of meat with eyes. Praise the Lord.

modesty, I attended the workshop / course / session with the feeling that could be both master and apprentice. Not that I consider a world expert on breastfeeding but one has already taken his first steps . I was tempted to explain how to milk a cow for the first time (in Rebollar de Ebro, where else), but after the limited success of my previous explanations veterinary pre-natal classes This time I decided to exit the forum. Still, here tell a fraction of my farming experience.

I pulled the udders with determination but there is not any liquid left.
- Relax - I hear you say my buddy Raul cowboy in those days ( dairy engineer would call here.)
- I you're saying to me or the cow? - I said frustrated.


Anyway, back to the original story and leave you here that adolescent experience, it seems that lately I can not stop talking about cows.

mine then said "I will accompany the course, no? "I love the way in which the female universe orders camouflaged as questions. Last straw, honey. Partner support is essential during pregnancy, as the reader knows at this point in the log.

On the day of yore, and minutes before routing to the hospital, I realize I have not complied with the duty entrusted to: buy a doll. We had asked that we take a dummy to simulate the practice and I had forgotten my purchase, which was translated into a heated domestic dispute ... to strengthen marital bonds, which would the experts.

Honoring my passport, I found the solution: a stuffed tiger. English Improvisation capitalized. I had bought the animal in the "duty free" in an American airport three years ago. The tiger is slightly larger than a big headed baby and a considerable, thus saving his classification in a separate section of the animal kingdom, could pass for a newborn for the purpose of fucking course.

So there we are, entering the hospital my wife and I very pregnant with the tiger under his arm. I open the classroom door, greeting with a hello to jack the little group gathered there and the face of the global expert on breastfeeding to see the tiger was all one poem. I did not know whether to laugh or mourn.

Half an hour later, amid the "practices", I start to walk around that class, opening and closing drawers.
- I can help? - Ask me understood it very solicitous.
- Seeking scissors.
- do you want a pair of scissors?
- is that the tiger's whiskers tickle me.

Cheese Instead Of Reblochon?

Chronicle Premiership - days 27 and 28

will not go unnoticed by sports perspicacious reader that chronicles the Premiership appear less frequently than expected. And with good reason.

I just named "loser of the month (loser of the month) "among the fifty coaches fans of the company thanks to the tireless efforts of the Navy . My team is fantastic fictional suspect that a gypsy jogging and adds less points than the English representative in the Eurovision Song Contest.

The first trophy of the season (Carling Cup) went to the hands of Juande Ramos. Vini, vidi, vinci (or something). On his way to the Premiership title, Manchester United's tireless Tevez has closed the gap on Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas indolent and placed to a point.

championship Emotions are now reduced to two: which team snatch Square to Liverpool to contest the Champions League who accompanied Fulham and Derby to second devision.

sky, earning

Juande Ramos - came and kissed the holy. First trophy for Tottenham showcases Hospur after nine years of drought. Good job.

Winston Palacios & LA Valencia - Wigan and settled in the warm-blooded guilty of injecting

Fernando Torres - made a hat trick to Middlesbourgh and dedicated it to his boss (Rafa Benitez), who does not seem to have the support of English players (which are two, second)

Fabio Aurelio - opened his personal locker with a good volley alicadios against Bolton Ivan Campo (1-3)


Purgatory Road

Welcome Zárate - another Argentine in these parts, in Birmingham in particular. New local fan favorite for his penchant for bargaining and entertaining football. Birmingham had not seen anything like it since it became a circus of clowns.

Alves - Brazilian striker Middlesbourgh again. But what does that man there! Miran


hell

present writer.


From the standings, better not talk.

- Position of the Navy League of the company (50 teams): 41 th (two days before: 36 º)
- Position of the Navy League of the Daily Telegraph (300,000 computers): 178,000.